Who doesn’t like free stuff? Psychopaths, that’s who; I don’t trust a person who doesn’t swipe and thoroughly relish a free pen, t-shirt, button, hat etc. You can be sure that a man or woman who walks by a free samples tray in the grocery store, or waves a hand at a free lanyard at the Home Depot is probably going back home to have schizophrenic conversations with his alternate personality or preparing to execute systematic torture on a slurry of screeching teenagers. Do not trust that person. In fact, though I assume no responsibility for any trouble you might get in, you should probably tackle and make a citizen’s arrest on any individual who happens to smile politely instead of grabbing up that free enviro-grocery bag being distributed outside of the local Sears.
Once again, I will vehemently deny everything I’ve said if you happen to get into any trouble for this. I will turn over on you like a fat lady at the beach. What does that mean? I don’t know. Who are you anyway?